The Prophet's guidance on treating pas:icn
This is a disease that attacks the he «ri. Yet 1 different type of disease concerning its symj ums. cau « and cure. When this ailment becomes acute, the « . ors will not be able to cure it nor will the one afflictc. tuoi to bear its effects.
Allah has mentioned the subject of pas. ion concerning two types of people: women and lovers of beardless boys. For instance, Allah mentioned the story of the wife of Al-'Aziz (Ruler of Egypt) and the Prophet Yusef b. He In addition mentioned the second type about the people of the Prophet Lut b He said about them when the angels came to visit the Prophet Lut b
"And the inhabitants of the city came rejo “ing (at the news of the young men's arrtval). [Lut (Lot)j . "Verily, these are my guests, so shame me not. And fear Allah and disgrace me not.' They (people of the city) said: 'Did we not forbid you from entertaining (or protecting) any of the 'Alamin (people, foreigners and strangers fron: us)?" [Lut (Lot)] said: "These (the girls of the nation) are my daughters (to marry lawfully), if you must act (so;. Verily, by vour life (O Muhammad b), in their wild
intoxication, they were wandering blindly." (15 67-72).
There is a false claim that was started by those who do not give the Prophet a& his due respect and appreciation, stating that the Prophet b once saw Zainab bint jahsh* and said, "All praise be to He Who changes the hearts as He wills!" They In addition claim that the Prophet m was inflicted with this disease, passion, and that his heart liked her. Yet, they claimed, he commanded Zaid to keep her and not divorce her, until Allah revealed:33
"And (remember) when you said to him (Zaid bin Harithah AI * ii — the freed-slave of the Prophet) on whom Allah has bestowed grace (by guiding him to Islam) and you (O Muhammad b, too) have done favour (by manumitting him): 'Keep your wife to yourself, and fear Allah. But you did hide in yourself (i.e., what Allah has already made known to you that He will give her to you in marriage) that which Allah will make manifest, you did fear the people (i.e., their saying that Muhammad ( married the divorced wife of his manumitted slave) whereas Allah had a better right that you should fear Him." (33:37)
Those who uttered this false claim In addition claimed that the Ayah is talking about passion. Consequently, some of them collected a book about passion: in which they mentioned several Prophets who
were afflicted with this disease, including the Prophet b This is an utter ignorance of such people of the Qura'an and the Messengers and a misunderstanding that alters the true meaning of Allah's Words. Further, this false claim accuses the Prophet ” with what he is truly innocent of.
Zaid bin Harithah whom the Prophet had adopted before Islam until he was called Zaid bin Muhammad, married Zainab bint Jahsh. Zainab was not humble with her husband and he asked the Prophet's advice if he should divorce her. The Messenger of Allah b said, to him:
"Keep your wife to yourself, and fear Allah."
The Prophet ~ thought that if Zaid would otherwise divorce her, he would marry her after him. But, the Prophet b v hid this thought in his heart because he feared what the people might say if he married the ex- wife of his adopted son. This is why Allah mentioned in this Ayah His favors on the Prophet b and commanded him not to fear what the people might say in doing what Allah has allowed for him. Allah In addition reminded him that it is He whom the Prophet as should fear, so he should not be hesitant in doing what Allah has allowed for him because of fear of what the people might say.
Further, Allah informed the Prophet * that He has given Zaineb to him in marriage after Zaid had divorced
her so that his nation imitates him when they know that the man is allowed to marry the ex-wife of his adopted son. This is why Allah said:
"But there is no sin on you if you have not gone in them (to marry their daughters), and the wives of your sons who (spring) from your own loins (are forbidden for you to marry)..." (4:23)
And in this chapter (4:40), Allah said:
"Muhammad (b ) is not the father of any of your men." (33:40) While in the beginning of the chapter Allah said:
"...nor has He made your adopted sons your real sons. That is but your saying with your mouths." (33:4)
Therefore, think deeply about Allah's defense of the Prophet as that refuted the false accusation directed at him. All success comes from Allah. Yes, the Prophet of Allah b used to love his wives, especially A'esha the most beloved to him among them. Yet, his love for them did not reach the evil of perfect love, which he reserved for his Lord. The Prophet b once said:
"If I was going to take an iniimate friend from the people of the earth, I would have taken Abu Bakr."
And in another narration, he said:
"Your friend (himself, Muhammad) is the intimate friend of the Most Beneficent."
Having passion towards images only afflicts empty hearts
This affects hearts that are deprived of the love of Allah, ignoring Him and preferring someone else. When the heart is full of the love of Allah and eagerness to meet Him, this love will fend off the disease of love and passion for images. This is why Allah said about Prophet Yusef b
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"Thus it was, that We might turn away from him evil and illegal sexual intercourse. Surely, he was one of Our chosen, (guided) slaves." (12:24)
This indicated that sincerity is a cause and a remedy that drives away passion which might lead to sin and fornication, which is the culmination of passion. When the cause behind the disease is repelled, the effects of the disease will In addition be repelled.
Some of ours once described passion that it 1s the
act of a heart that is empty of everything except what it has a passion for. Allah said:
"And the heart of the mother of Musa (Moses) became empty [from every thought, except the thought of Musa (Moses)]. She was very near to disclosing his case." (28:10)
This Ayah indicated that the heart of Moses's mother was empty of every concern except for Moses, because of her great love for him and her heart's affection for him. Passion has two parts, loving an object and an eagerness to possess the loved object. When one of these two parts does not exist, then passion does not exist either.
The ailment of passion has caused bafflement to many wise people and some of them issued some statements in this regard that should not be taken
seriously.
We say that Allah's Wisdom has decided regarding His creation that there are similarities that occur between things and people, and that things and people are driven to their likes and to avoid what is not similar to them. The secret to the harmony that occurs in the world is due to the similarities between various creations. Various things [and people] thus lean towards similar objects, while dissimilar objects ignore each other. Allah
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"It is He Who has created you from a single person (Adam), and (then) He has created from him his wife [Hawwa' (Eve)], in order that be might enjoy the pleasure of living with her." (7:189)
Allah has made this the reason why man feels attracted and consequently passionate, for woman. She is similar to him in essence. The reason for the attraction [between men and women] is not only the beauty of the image, but the similarity in the habits, guidance and mannerism, all of which help ignite passion.
In the Sahih it is narrated that the Prophet said:
"The souls are similar to recruited soldiers. Those who recognize
each other will be intimate and those who do not recognize each other will be apart."
In addition, Imam Ahmad narrated in his Mosn'ad the reason behind this Hadith, "A woman in Mecca used to be able to make people laugh and when she came to Al-Medina she resided with a woman who In addition used to be able to make people in Al-Medina laugh. The Prophet b said:
"The souls are just like recruited soldiers."
The religion of Allah gives the same rulings to similar matters and thus does not differentiate between similar matters nor join between dissimilar matters. Those who think to the contrary are mistaken due to their lack of knowledge of the religion, or lack of effort on their part to acquire knowledge on the subject of similarities and dissimilarities. Or, their error comes from relating to the religion what is not a part of it without the authority that can justify it. With Allah's Wisdom and justice, His creation and command have been established by equating similar things and differentiating between dissimilar things. This fact is true both in this life and on the Day of Resurrection. Allah said:
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(It will be said to the angels): "Assemble those
who did wrong, together with their companions (from the devils) and what they used to worship. Instead of Allah, and lead them on to the way of flaming Fire (Hell): ..." (37:22,23)
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"And when the souls shall be joined with their partners (the good with the good and the bad with the bad)." (81:7)
This indicates that each person will be tied to his likes. Those who have love for each other for Allah's sake will be together in Paradise, while those who love each other for the devil's sake will be together in Hell. One is with those whom he likes, whether he likes it or not. Al- Hakim narrated that the Prophet * said:
"If a man loves a people, he will be gathered with them (on the Day of Resurrection)."
There are several types of love. The best and most honorable of them is love for the sake of Allah, which requires loving what He loves and In addition loving Him and His Messenger.
Another type of love is that which occurs when
sos 1s it have a similar religion or way, or
sect, or relation, or craft, or a goal that they “nother type of love is what occurs when one .quire a matter that the loved object has, susition, money, knowledge, or any other . ie seeks. This is material love that dissipates “ut is reached. Indeed, he who likes you for a wi. curpose goes away when his goal is
ihe Jove that results because of the similarities © cen thc two parties does not fade away unless there is -cason that makes it fade away. This type of love des mession because it is a love that the soul and the .~urt share. No other ailment can cause more profound ~izcts on those afflicted, of obsession, weakness, concern a:..d even destruction, like passion.
If one saye that since the reason behind affection 1s what you have stated, the souls being connected and compatible, why is it not always exchanged between the twe parties? Sometimes, love is one sided, although you stated that the reason for it is the similarity and the compatibility between the souls.
The answer is that there are reasons that arise and prevent the love from being exchanged by both sides. One-sided love is the result of one of three reasons: a deficiency in the love because it is accidental and not real.
In this case, the loved person might even feel dislike for the other party. Second, sometimes the loved person might be the cause for the love to be one-sided, such as a deficiency in his mannerism, shape, path, actions, appearance, and so forth. Third, due to a specific reason that prevents the loved person from sharing the same feelings with the other party.
When these reasons are not present, and the love is thus real, love will be shared by both parties.
Arrogance, envy, loving various positions and enmity by the disbelievers were the main reasons the Messengers were not more beloved by them than their own selves, families and offspring. When these barriers were removed from the hearts of the Messengers' followers, their love for the Messengers was indeed more than the love they had for their own selves, wives, children and wealth.
Attainment of one's love object is its cure and other cures for love
The subject is that since love is one of the ailments in general, it does have a cure or several cures. If the lover has a legal path to take to attain his loved object, it will be his cure. In the Sahihain it is narrated that Ibn Mas'ud said that the Prophet b said:
"O young people! Whoever amongst you can afford marriage, let him marry. Those who cannot afford it should resort to fasting, for it will be a cure for them."
The Prophet b has directed the people to the best methods to obtain what they love, a major and a minor method. He ordered the men to resort to the first choice, marriage, which is the perfect cure for this disease. Thus,
people should not preter other solutions to the solution that the Prophet b recommended.
Ibn Majah narrated that the Prophet b said: "We never saw anything like marriage for lovers."
This is the meaning that Allah indicated when He
allowed in marriage both free and slave women when needed: Allah said:
"Allah wishes to lighten (the burden) for you; and man was created weak (cannot be patient to leave sexual intercourse with woman)." (4:28)
Therefore, Allah mentioned man's weakness in this Ayah and stated that He has made matters easy for him by allowing him to marry as many as he wishes, two, three or four. He In addition allowed him slave women in marriage if he wishes, so as to treat this ailment, passion, to cure the weakness in mankind and as an act of mercy
[from Him] to His slaves.
When no legal method exists for the laver to attain his love object
If there is no legal method that the lover can attain his loved object or because of his inability to do so, or both, then passion will become a difficult disease in this case and the afflicted person needs to feel that he cannot satisfy it. It is a fact that when the heart feels hopelessness in something, it will no longer seek to acquire it,
If the disease, passion, still exists even under these hopeless conditions, then the nature of the person would have deviated and the person needs to try another solution, that is, attending to his state of mind. The person afflicted by passton should convince himself that his heart's affection with what it cannot attain constitutes madness, and that this case is similar to whoever loves the sun, the only way to acquire it is to ascend to it! Everyone understands this is madness.
If one cannot attain his loved object because of a legal barrier that the religion erected, he should convince himself that acquiring his passion is not feasible because Allah did not allow it to happen. He should know that for his safety he should abandon such a matter and be certain that it is virtually impossible that he will ever attain it.
If one's whose heart orders him to do evil does not comply with these cures, let the slave abandon the matter for fear of losing whoever is more beloved to him, more beneficial and who offers a longer period of contentment and joy. In this case, the afflicted person will come to realize the difference between the two objects. Therefore, one should not prefer the joy of an hour that would soon turn to pain comparedtoeternal joy that is incomparable. The reality of the short-lived joy is that it is a daydream or a mirage that will soon end and fade away, but the responsibility would remain.
In addition, one should realize that this might lead to a hateful loss that is worse for him than losing the coveted object, and thus his loss would multiply, losing the coveted object and acquiring a hateful outcome. When one realizes these facts, then losing the coveted object becomes less serious in his heart and being patient becomes more worthwhile. The mind, religion, honor and’ human nature then require the afflicted person to be: patient in the face of losing a lesser loved object, for in this case, patience would soon earn him joy, contentmentt and happiness. On the other hand, one's ignorance, transience, injustice and immaturity orders him to prefer the lesser coveted object whatever the cost. Those whom Allah gives immunity will be saved from this end.
When one's heart does not accept this solution and
dislikes using the remedy that we mentioned, let him think about what evil repercussions satisfying his lusts would bring about and what gains it would cause him to lose. He should realize that satisfying his lust is the major cause of an evil outcome in this life, as it prevents the slave from using his mind that is the controller of his actions and which should be used to lead him to benefit instead.
If one's heart still does not accept the remedy we mentioned, let him remember the shortcomings and unlikable characteristics of the coveted object, so that he might dislike the object, as well. When one thinks about this subject, he will realize that such shortcomings supercede the good qualities that made him like that object. Let him In addition ask the neighbors of his loved one about what he does not know of their attributes and behavior. It is a fact that as much as the good qualities drive loved ones closer, the shortcomings drive them apart. Then, one should weigh the two sides and choose the best and most beloved path to take. He should not be among those who are deceived by the color of an otherwise leprous skin. Let one think beyond the beautiful exterior to the true reality of things. Let one look beyond the beautiful shape to the inner evil of the heart.
If all of these remedies do not work, there will be no resort except seeking Allah Who answers the calls of
those in distress when they invoke Him. Let him throw himself before His Door seeking His help with humbleness, humility and meekness.
Those who are led to this type of success should act honorably and keep their affair a secret, so as not to expose the loved one to the people and cause them harm, or else he will be committing a transgression and an injustice.